Today, I turned TWENTY.
This year has been full of so many new chapters...like SO MANY!! The day I turned 19, I was spending time with the Lord and He gave me a vision (Not something that usually happens so I tightly hung onto this one).
I got a vision of myself sitting on a sailboat. Just sitting. And as I sat, the boat sailed. It sailed onto new islands. Each one different. Each one beautiful. Each one abundant.
As I sat, my eyes wondered on all that was around me. Like a child seeing something new for the first time, my face lit up with delight and awe. I looked in joy-filled amazement at each Island, and went back to sitting between the trips of sailing to each. In the vision, I saw the One behind the wheel. It was Abba. The One.
He led the sailboat with the same delight and awe that I had, but looking towards me. Like a proud Daddy. As we ventured the seas towards the different Islands, I sat, He led, and we spent quality time with one another...just Him and I.
We laughed, cried, played fun games, told silly jokes, and dreamed big “impossible dreams”. The Islands were amazing, but that… the sitting… was my favorite part.
That is EXACTLY what this year has looked like...
New waters, new Islands, but above all the grand “news”...was enjoyment of sitting with Jesus. Experiencing with Him. Each year I look back at how much more I am in love with Jesus and it blows me away. I love Him SO MUCH and it’s not even to the fullest. YET He loves me to the fullest and fuller. So full that I‘m still learning the depths of His love.
Every year since giving my life to Him, that has been my prayer… That he would reveal to me more the depths of His love for me, and in return I love Him more. In great measure, that’s what this year has been.
Turning 20 has left me thinking about my teenage years quite a bit. I did some deep reflecting and digging into my hearts teenage years. Below I came up with “10 things I would tell my teenage self”. In this, I was again reminded of Gods love. The reflecting and processing brought up a deeper admiration for Jesus and seeing the way He was loving and working all things for good. I pray you find delight in reading these words, but more so that you see the love of Jesus through them.
10 things I would tell my teenage self:
It really is going to be okay...Things do get better! You’ll make it though Jr. High. You’ll make it through high school. It all will end good. God has plans for you. He’s moving in the midst of ALL the brokenness.
Adventure isn’t as far as it seems. You’ll miss exploring the woods in your backyard one day. Go on those heart-sparking “baby” adventures.
Keep journaling. One day you’ll look back and be in awe of your heart’s process. You’ll see the faithfulness of God through your own words, and it’s a beautiful thing.
Say yes to new opportunities, but sometimes also say no. Resting isn’t wrong. It’s holy.
The majority of people you’re spending most your time with now, won’t be in your life for long. Knowing that, love them bigger, deeper, and fuller. They’ll be people you’ll cherish for a long time.
Be kinder to your mom. Give her grace. Hug her every night before going to bed. Believe it or not, she will be a close friend and your biggest supporter one day. For a long time, you’ll go to sleep missing her hugs.
You’re going to have cystic acne. It’s okay. You’ll go on a beautiful journey about learning what it means to be made in the likeness of God. Kids will ask about it. You’ll have opportunities to point them to the Father. Embrace it.
Your passions are going to change. Let them. In the changing, you are discovering new sides of the Father’s heart. He’s full of passion. You get that characteristic from Him. Don’t hold your passion back. You might think you’re “alot” but you actually have a gift of making people feel welcomed. Your passion is refreshing.
Keep waking up early in the morning. Keep seeking the stillness of the day to be with Jesus. It’s called the secret place and it’s where you’re falling deeper in love with the one who’s madly in love with you.
Don’t try to figure your entire future out. Let it happen. Work hard, and chase after the things that make your heart spark...but really just let God do what he does. Just set your eyes on Him.
I’m spending today celebrating, resting, enjoying, reflecting, and hoping. Cheers to a new decade. Cheers to the faithfulness of God. Cheers to new depths of His love.
Twenty really couldn’t look any better.
PRAISE BE TO JESUS FOREVER!
All my love,
Kourtney <3