Hi friends! This blog post is a bit different than most of the bogs I've shared. Those who know me know that words are a crucial part of how I process. In writing, my heart expresses the depth and hidden, where light and hope are shed. That is why I'm sharing this. For the shedding of light and hope not just for myself but also for you and the transitions you might find yourself in.
Here's a bit of background before you start reading. Samaritan Coffee @225, the coffee shop I have been managing and working at since last August, closed May 29th with only a week's notice. In my processing, reflecting, and grieving, I wrote a letter to 225. It's full of a little bit of everything, but my prayer is that you see the faithfulness of Jesus in every sentence- our light and hope. Thank you for reading. <3
Dear 225,
I didn't expect to have to say goodbye to you. At least, not in this way. I often imagined who the next stewards of you would be...How they would find you...why they were choosing to work at such a place...the passion that drove their hearts. I would hope they would love you more than Alex and I did, but I couldn't imagine people loving you more. God knew that, I think. I see His perfectness in choosing us to care for you when and how He did. He knew we would love you with all that we had. I think that's why this hurts so bad. I loved you and all the things that came with you really big. This past week I have found myself becoming frustrated with that. Being frustrated at myself for loving something so big that unknowingly could so easily be taken away from me. But in the frustration, I look to Jesus. I see His love hanging on a cross and am reminded that it's worth it. Loving big is always worth it. It's an honor to love you with all I have and see this chapter ended on that...Love.
You've been a significant part of my story here in Colorado. As I sit and reflect on the season with you, I see myself walking through deeper transformation daily. I think of the woman I was eight months ago and am speechless. Between your four walls, I experienced growth as I have never experienced it before. You watched it all happen. You watched my tears and laughter. My failures and successes. My exhaustion and joy. You saw the hard decisions I had to make and the moments of sacrifice and perseverance. You saw me choose "yes" even when I wanted to choose "no". You saw the mornings I showed up late from being exhausted and the days I stayed even later to file those annoying expense reports. In everything I did, I saw the Father's purpose, even in making coffee and making it beautiful. I'm thankful for the space that you were—a space of safety and peace. A space of abundant grace where messing up was okay.
In the past few weeks, my heart has ached most for the people that have walked through your doors. People that I have come to love deeply. People that have significantly impacted my life. People like Steve, Allison, Matthew, Jay, Jackie, Gwen, Victor, Marie, Dennis, Kalina, Miss Nancy, Avery, and the list continues. I watched students choose to transform their lives, businessmen learn to sacrifice and lead from that, and grandmas create effective change in their community. Even in the difficulty that came with unkind customers, students doing wild things, and insane lunch rushes, I saw the beauty of Jesus displayed. Within your walls, the Kingdom of heaven was active. The hand of God was all over the place, and worship was a constant. I am extra grateful for the opportunity to steward you with Alex. The friendship, redemption, and growth that took place in our partnership were extraordinary! Thank you for the brother I got to walk away with because of you. He has impacted my life so big, and our paths would never have crossed if it wasn't for you. What an honor it is to hold the hearts of so many. What an honor to be a part of so many people's stories. What an honor to have them be a part of mine.
225, I really miss you. I think I will miss you for a while, and I think that's okay. In grieving your loss, I have experienced the closeness of Jesus and His presentness in the difficulty of the transition. It's easy to walk away from something hard and expect what's next to be better. But walking away from something that felt so perfect and expecting better is a bit more challenging. I'm in the middle of wrestling with that, but I truly believe with all of my heart that Jesus is good, trustworthy, and faithful and that His word is true when He says He takes us from glory to glory. I know He is intricately involved with the details of my life and the journey of my heart. I have had to surrender you to Him over and over. But even with the heartache, it's my joy to surrender all of my life to Him. Though my season with you was small compared to the entirety of my life, the impact is vast. Their were crucial pillars built that will stand as a foundation as I continue to say "yes" and run after the passion and dreams of my heart.
Thank you for everything, Samaritan Coffee @225. Here's my goodbye.
With so much love,
Your manager
Kourtney V.
